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And so, I made up the story about your father so you would be thinking of good things, not my shortcomings and I … I lied to you. And I am ashamed again. I lied and I wish I could crawl into a hole and disappear. I am so sorry, so very, very sorry. When Mom had finished her story, I wrapped her in a hug that was not as big as the lump in my throat. I held her tighter than ever, suddenly afraid of losing her. I whispered ‘Mom, I understand and of course I forgive you. I am so sorry I hurt you. You are everything to me and all I could ever deserve. Thank you.’ After we had hashed it out, I felt better and life returned to near normal. I appreciated my mom in new ways, but I also hurt that she had felt she had to mislead me. But back to normal was better and things were better. I got involved in the couple of summer school classes I was taking and had my part time job, and things with mom were really better than ever. One day, it was a day off and I had nothing really special planned. I. He was interested in giving me a blowjob. I finally agreed to meet him. He sounded okay on the phone and warned me he lived with a teenager he had to get out of the house for a while.. he did warn me he was kinda tall and big, but I didn’t realize he was so big. I arrived and my heart was pounding, knocked on the door and was totally shocked at his size. I went in anyway, but almost immediately told him I didn’t want a blow job, just maybe to get jacked off. He agreed. We chatted for a while… his apartment was kinda run down; we watched TV for a bit, then I got up and said I’d like to get started… so, I stripped nude. There I was, for the first time in front of some strange guy — nude — for sexual purposes. It was great. I sat down next to him on his couch, and he started stroking my cock. I got hard and came almost immediately, but he let my cum go everywhere; it spattered me in the face and hair, strait up, all over his couch, carpet.
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